Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
