I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i think i just lost a toe
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize