i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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