just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
