I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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