You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
