Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
