Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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