I hate all girls vehemently.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
