Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
