There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
