we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
