What a fucking waste of an outfit
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
