Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
