OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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