Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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