When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize