Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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