And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Vodka?
Forever.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
