well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
