my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
