I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
no you cant smoke seaweed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
