I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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