so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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