He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
