I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
