After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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