why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
it hurts more in the daytime
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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