Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
