When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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