well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
