it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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