Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
