I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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