Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
where am i from again
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
