The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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