No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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