omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
