It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
