Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
