Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Someone signed my nipple.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
