i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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