Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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