I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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