He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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