sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
