She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
