You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
