Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
