her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
