Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
