I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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