Why are handjobs necessary in class?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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