drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
