Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
