I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
