Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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