i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
